"on love"

Initially I have so much to talk about this book - On Love. ( Alex considered it as the most honest love story that he has ever read. I could not agree more.) I wanted to talk about it so much that i realized all the things I typed here were extremely lame. So I decided to just may be share some quotes rather than being all stupidly emo.

“The anxiety of loving Chloe was in part the anxiety of being in a position where cause of my happiness might so easily vanish, where she might suddenly loose interest, die or marry another… we were sometimes seized by the urge to kill our love affair before it had reach its natural end , a murder committed not out of hatred but out of an excess of love – or rather out of a fear that an excess of love may bring . Lovers may kill their love story for no other reason than that they are unable to unable to tolerate the uncertainty, the sheer risk, that their experiment in happiness has delivered. “

This is exactly what I have been going through in my relationship. These things are TOO uncertain that I have to constantly remind myself not to fall crazily into someone. I hate feeling needy, but I AM SO NEEDY. I hate to realized that I have to feel like I cannot live without someone, so I tried everything to hold myself back or even attempting to kill the relationship, because I was "unable to tolerate the uncertainty."

I don't like the idea that my brain is constantly replaying the same person's face again and again all day long.

You know what, all of a sudden I just don’t want to continue writing this entry anymore because I am starting to sound creepy. There is too much stickiness involve. I hate to see myself talking like this. so let’s just end here for the day.

OK BYE.