MMMMMMMmmmmMMmmmmMMmm.....

There are so much cooking going on in house!! It has been a very num num num num... week!!

First it was the HOT POT DAY!

Then it was the BIG DAY - ALEX IN THE KITCHEN!!

Scallop with chorizo and pinot grigio butter cream caper sauce. Roasted garden Peppers stuff with caramelized red onions and trumpet mushroom atop a bed of spinach. Basil baked fingering potatoes.

Picture by Sandra

And Sandra made apple crisp!!!

Then it's Winnie's Breakfast!!

Ohio Time

We've been here in Cincinnati for more than a week now spending some quality time with Alex's family before we move on to China and UK. I am so glad that I made the decision to come down to visit with Alex before leaving for Vancouver. Because we are not gonna be able to see them quite as easy once we leave the country, I am glad to have the chance to bond with everybody some more.

Last week at Marge's, we spent a lot of time in her backyard pool in the afternoon. It's so relaxing since it has been above 90s every day in Cincinnati. We visited Cera's house and had quality baby time in the play room with my little boyfriend Jack Jack (tee hee hee). That play room reminded me of all these crazy ideas that I wanted to do with my own baby's room. Designing for children is quite challenging but so much fun!

Somebody is trying to cuddle...

Marge also brought us to supposedly the BEST restaurant in Cincinnati - Orchids at Palm Court. Over all dishes were not bad except my fish was a little over cooked, but the service was exceptional. They take off the bill of the fish and did not charge anything for our desserts. There aren't many fine dinning would do this for there mistakes nowadays.

Sunday we came back to Alex's dad's house for Mimi and the girl's be lated birthday party. I love all the Peffly gatherings because there are always so much LOVEEEEE. And I love to see all the little humans running around the house☺. When playing with the kids in the basement. I found this little book that Alex wrote when he was 11. The book is called "Lost". It is about the two brothers, Peter and Jake, adventure in the woods. The book was made with proper cover and back cover, and also illustrations in several pages!! It's the CUTEST thing!

Then it was HOT POT DAY!! I am so proud to introduced our "greatest culinary culture" to the the family! My all time favorite hot pot! We went to the Asian market to shop for ingredients and I especially picked some of the interesting textured food for the hot pot dinner. And OF COURSE I made my special secret sauce! They loved it and we had it for two days in a row!! It's just heaven for me. I was glad that they all LOVED it!!

My stomach has not been resting. After two day of hot pot, Alex made Creme Brulee last night!! And his also making dinner tonight!! I love it when bear cooks!

Now something totally irrelevant. I FINALLY GOT MY NEW HEADPHONES by Urbanears. There are so many colors to choose from, but we got the black and white. Pretty comfortable so much better than my ear plugs I hate!

Farewell Chi-Town

We are out of Chicago. On the first day of August, we loaded up an entire 10 feet truck, drove away from the city of Chicago, where I went to college, earned my first degree, met all my wonderful friends; where I first hold hands with my dear man bear Alex, explored tastes in side and outside of my kitchen. I had quite some moments the last few days in Chicago. It was different from leaving Vancouver, or even leaving China for the very first time. Because I know that those two places are always home. But if one day I return to Chicago, it would only be another place visit. I will probably be staying in a hotel, or a friend's house, or even for business purpose. It will be different, very different from what I had experienced for the past 4 years (just thinking about it makes me sad...).

I don't hate changes. I think my life has changed enough (since I move around a lot) that I can adapt to new environment pretty quickly. However, I am always worried about things that have not yet happened ahead of me. I always wish that I could plan every single day hour by hour, so I don't waste time worrying things that did not eventually happen.

The night before we leave Chicago, we made reservation for our last taste of Chicago. I never imagine that L2O would be my last taste of Chicago, because it was not my fav (probably my 3rd fav.). I was hoping it would be either Alinea or Next. But apparently none of them will have a table for us until September. So L2O became our last stop of the taste of Chicago, which was unexpectedly exceptional. The menu was different from the last time when I was there, and there weren't any disappointing dish this time. The manager also gave us a tour of the kitchen when we told them that it was our last dinner in Chicago. So... we were both happy about the farewell dinner.

L2O Dinning Room

Second day in cincinnati with Alex family has been great. There are a lot of board games going on as usual. The risk battle between evil (me and Alex's dad) and goodness (Jazzie and Alex) went on for two days. Of course the evil won with a technical K.O. It was a flawless evil battle!

After many hours of war, we went to get sushi for dinner! On our way home we stopped by and looked at these really funky house in the neighborhood. ↓

It's now bed time and we are going to have FRENCH TOASTS for breakfast, indian food for dinner, and we are also going to see Jack Jack tomorrow! It's gonna be great!

And all my chicago friends! I am missing you! ♥

I Can Do It

The past few days I had enough physical and mental suffering. Especially because Alex isn't here with me I grew more and more negative about my condition. However, I managed to pick up myself again and I am ready to fight this.

I promised myself for these new daily routines:

Meditation for half to one hour every morning after wake up.

Be outside for at least one hour.

Try to switch coffee to tea.

Find one IMPORTANT thing to do.

Be positive.

I will try everything to work this in the right direction. I will avoid to talk or think about any details of my condition. I believe it's just very normal and it will be healed.

It is not always that terrible when bad things happen to you. I allow myself to be out and sat in my favorite coffee shop today for more than an hour. I felt great I did that. I was proud of myself that I have the courage to push myself. And suddenly I learned something really important. People take everything for granted when they are good and healthy. They make themselves suffer because of small little things, and forget about all the things that they can appreciate. I have to say that I used to be one of them. But I will not be like that anymore. It is so wonderful to be just a normal person. You can go out enjoy the sun, a coffee, watching people walk and talk, have a nice gathering with friends in a nice cosy restaurant. You think that these are all so normal and there is nothing to be excited? You know what, it can all be gone in a second. There is nothing more wonderful to be just a normal healthy person. And I will appreciate everything that I am able to do, and will be able to do again in the future.

I KNOW I CAN DO IT!

Cards

Despite my fear of exploring the outside world, I was able to find some silly comfort on my computer at home. I found these goofy cards that Alex made for me last year when I was traveling in Europe.

Oh my silly bear. Tee hee hee...

One Time Weakling

So many things had happened since the last time I updated my blog. Every time when I start a new entry, I feel glad that although I am so lazy about blogging, I never give it up. Because there are so many things that I don't want to forget.

So Pitchfork was last weekend. It was my first Pitchfork and probably going to be my last. I bought my 3 day ticket, but I was only able to make it to the first day, and not even till the last band. I was escorted to the emergency tent by Alex, put on an oxygen mask, and then the ambulance and being speed to the hospital. I don't really want to think and talk about the details, because anything about the hospital makes me dizzy. I was diagnosed to have agoraphobia. I was shocked, but relieved at the same time. Because for so many years, I didn't know why I always feel low on oxygen or feeling nauseous in any concerts or festivals. Now the mystery is solved. I thought I would be cured immediately.

At Pitchfork Emergency Tent

However, the panic attack started again 2 days ago when I was in the subway station. We were suppose to go to a movie, but we returned home instead. I was really upset about it. For the first time, I feel like a coward. A real one. There is nothing wrong with me physically. Everything was in my brain. I made myself sick. I am scared of the subway?? Are you kidding me? I have so many places that I wanna go. I cannot afford to be fear of any kind of transportations.

I used to think that any kinda of phobia is non-sense. Just some people trying to be dramatic. I was so wrong. It is horrible to have a panic attack. Feels like a heart attack. It's scary. Since the attack happen in the subway station. I cannot stop thinking about it. All the time I am just being anxious that would happen again. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. Today morning it took me 2 hours to decide whether I should go get my cup of coffee. I went eventually. And I came home safe. But the whole way to the coffee shop, I was trying so hard to find things to distract me. It was only a 3 min. walk from my apartment to the coffee place. I felt like a hero when I returned home.

I hate it every time when Alex tease me saying that I am a weakling... So I am going to fight with this bullshit phobia.

I also feel bad for Alex because he had to give up the funs because of me. He was not able to watch Animal Collective or the movie that he always wanted to go to because of me. I feel like a bad person because of that...

Alex is in his colorado trip to visit his friend Grant. I sure feel weird and ... a little bit scared that he is not here ( GOD I AM SUCH A WEAKLING). But I will try to stay ...normal. I am going to have a get together with some friends tonight. And I hope I will arrive and return without any dramatic incidence. May be I will take a taxi.